Concept on flow/forced /minimalism and Trust - Part 1
Gail Scott - "You need things to live. But live your life." - Concept on flow/forced /minimalism and Trust
Gail Scott - is a life coach that help their clients discover how Trust is the answer to successful living. Using her personal traumatic incest story, she shares how Trust is the key factor in the authentic human experience. She is a regular speaker for Roger TV, Momondays, University of Toronto, and numerous organisations throughout Toronto.
Q - What is the state of flow according to you?
It is when you feel at one with everything. When I feel I am exactly at the right place, at the right time. When you engage in an activity, and you don’t have any doubts. It doesn’t mean you don’t have any fear, but courage come out of fear. Flow is basically trusting in the universe, trusting whatever you are experiencing. You are not pushing things. As opposed to flow and forced.
Q - What is the difference between Flow and Forced?
Force is something that requires a lot of energy. It requires a lot of focused energy that doesn’t seem to flow. It is almost like a state of being. When you are in force, you are trying too hard. You are worrying about things. You are concerned about the outcome rather than being in the moment.
Whereas in flow, you are just in acceptance. You accept where you are at is where you want to be. And everything is okay. But that’s really hard for a lot of people.
For example: If you ask someone, who are you. They will tell you what they do, as opposed to who they are as a person. So when you look at things in that perspective, you are less worried about what you are doing, and what the outcome will be. So you can achieve things without the same stress and the same worry. Worry is a wasted emotion.
Q - Do you believe more in the materialist culture or a minimalist approach?
I do believe in minimalism more than materialism. Based on my experiences, once you get the item, the excitement is over.
Whereas, if you live your life to experience things than having things, those memories you can reminisce it in the future. I still remember very early on my marriage, and I wanted to buy a new dining room set. But my mother said: “Gail, once you get that dining room set, it’s going to be there. But the money you will spend buying that really expensive dining table and chairs, you can go on vacation which will be memories that you can cherish for a lifetime.” And I really took that to heart.
Yes, you need a table and chairs. You need things to live. But live your life. Realize that the table and chairs aren’t the items that will give you pleasure, as opposed to the experiences and memories in life.
Q - In your life, you have gone through quite a journey. Your blog discussed a lot about trust. So according to you, could you tell us the definition of trust?
In my experience, trust is something we inherently have. We all have the ability to trust when we are born. It starts with trusting ourselves.
The initial notion of trust is: Simple trust. A baby is born with this trust, and believe all of their needs will be met. But in life, that doesn’t hold true. So that trust is broken very fast.
So instead, we learn about the notion of trust: Basic trust. Basic trust is when you believe people are going to be their word. People are going to do what they say, and they won’t betray you. But overtime, very often, people don’t always do what they say. So they do betray us. (Especially in relationships.) People do what is in their best interest. So that trust is broken over and over. Often people will be in denial. Even in the face of that betrayal, they continue to trust people.
So as we grow older, we understand that trust can be broken. So we develop: Authentic trust. And this notion is taken from a book called “building trust”. Authentic Trust is trusting someone, but knowing inevitably someone could betray you, could let you down. But you are willing to take the chance to risk and trust them anyway. But ultimately, you also have to know build authentic trust with yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, you won’t be able to trust anyone else. You need to be there for yourself. Uphold your own values, and your beliefs. Be true to yourself, even in the face of other people betraying you.
Q - So what is personal trust?
Personal trust is the inner knowing. It is the moment when you get the gut instinct or that feeling in your heart, that you know something or you should do something about a situation. In that moment, you have a choice. You can choose to believe it, follow it, and go with it. Or you could choose to ignore it, deny it, and go the other way. What happens with people most of the time, they don’t believe their own inner knowing. So they go against their own inner judgement. For example, you get offered for a job, and you take the job out of fear. You know it is not the right job for you. But you take it anyways. Or you meet someone, and you stay in a relationship too long, though you know this person is not good for you. And you are not happy. But because of fear of abandonment, or you don’t feel worthy, so you stay in it. If you don’t trust those messages your body and mind gives you. Then on an ongoing basis, it will get harmful.
Q - But they say the inner knowing is based on past experiences?
Yes, it is. They say women are far more intuitive than men. However, we each have this. When we are living in families, our inner knowing get challenged. So very often, we test out if we are right or not. And often time, we will go against that inner knowing because we believe it will not garner us with a lot of love. For example, you choose to do a thing a certain way, but you know if you do it this way, you won’t get the love and approval of your family. So instead of being an artist, a creative, you agree to be a lawyer because your dad wants you to be one. We are always facing experimentation. We won’t know if it will work or not. We are testing everything every time. And that is the soul’s purpose to grow and learn, to develop this part of ourselves that we really trust. I believe the inner knowing is the soul’s knowledge. It’s the soul’s knowledge to connect with you, and the soul comes in our journey.
#trust #journey #believe #authentic #knowledge #betrayal #connect #soul#simple #inner knowing #knowledge
Image courtesy of Gail Scott Reach Gail @ http://www.gailscottinc.com/